ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
