I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
