Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
COCAINE IS GR8
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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