so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Randomize
