idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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