the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
