when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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