I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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