He is such a slut. More and more my type.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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