please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
