just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
