I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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