38 yer olds are good kisserssss
My cat gives me a boner
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Ladies don't puke and tell
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize