her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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