it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
