wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
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so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
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Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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