WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
