Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
