How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize