Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
