Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
