ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
