Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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