I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
We don't watch enough power rangers
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
God, I missed his penis.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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