that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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