you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
