Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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