I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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