So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
