So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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