Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
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