Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
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Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
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Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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