drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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