I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
