I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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