I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
