Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
