You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
There r osticjed everywhere
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
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