did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
