I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize