In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize
