OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
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