You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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