i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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