Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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