I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
