She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
