Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
