he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
stop calling my apartment porn island.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
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You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
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She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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