I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
