She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
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