Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
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Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
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My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
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