what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
