Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
