what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
