I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
