I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize