New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
