she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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