Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
